By phishroom
Sun Mar 03, 2024 1:46 pm
Dear Akai / AIR Devs,
Thank you for your lovely care and attention to file structure and directory organization. I was wondering, are you friends with the other kids over at Roland Cloud or do they go to a different school?
It's such a clever approach to spread out your files like a community yard sale all over my system drive. Quite efficient because you don't waste precious development time in consolidating or organizing stuff and instead devote your energy to redeveloping the same code into yet another version of the same thing with a new name and higher prices so it looks like a deal when it goes on sale at 80% off and the price it should have been all along. So clever.
Makes sense that your marketing department moonlights as the software development team as it keeps the payroll costs down. Plus you get to work from home, building your software installer packages while doing your Fortnite stream on Twatch.
I have a super idea for a product that seems to be missing from your catalog. How about a MIDI Chord Pack, but not just any MIDI Chord Pack? It's the most amazing MIDI Chord Pack ever, with every chord of every scale and mode for an 88-key keyboard, with a very special twist: The installer should place each MIDI Chord file in it's own directory, in a different and unique place spread out across your system drive, but make all the folders the same name so that people can randomly discover new chords along the way. It can be like a treasure hunt for the ultimate chord progression.
It takes an unbelievable level of coding skill to absolutely
a file system to such a level of disarray.
A special thanks to whoever handles the impressive AIR Music Technology folder among the Applications. Mixing standalone apps with preset folders and user guide pdfs, databases and the occasional binary...wow, I can't believe you managed a degree in Art History at such a young age. It's like Warhol and Dali had a baby, and that baby was raised by Picasso for 2 years then turned loose on the streets as a toddler.
Surely the developer that handles the 3 different "synths" folders in my System and User Libraries is about to be poached by Apple. So clever to diversify and duplicate more preset folders in multiple locations in case one of them is lost. And the subtle differences between those preset lists is also nice. It's like you've instantly DOUBLED the amount of presets, and who doesn't like more presets?
Kudos to the HR team for pushing to bring underprivileged youth to the workforce. Even the illiterate deserve jobs and it's so incredible that you've put them in charge of maintaining the Support site. Maybe it's not the answers we seek that are important, but rather the questions we've asked along the way?
You've managed to put the Roland Cloud coders in their place. Maybe someday I'll get to meet the genius who had the idea to hide your user accounts and software downloads behind multiple levels of website logins and bouncing around between Akai and AIR and inMusic and Onfastspring and OMFG you've really made it easy.
The truly unbelievable achievement was creating a login system that lets me login but not login. I mean, seriously, that is a stroke of brilliance. I login, but then you send me an email with a secret link to a different site to login again? Better yet, you've made the whole process like a clever game of hide-and-seek to find the most recent versions of software, and then putting them in different places like a treasure hunt. It's exciting and innovative.
Don't get me started on your software portal, the inMusic Software Center, which apparently uses a Mod Matrix that must use some kind of Schrödinger's Cat algorithm to determine what software and what updates may or may not exist at the moment, and then install an update of something in a brand new location so that I have a backup of my backup. Dawg, I love apps, so I'm psyched to get another app for my apps so that I can download more apps!
You just get me. It's obvious you understand my need for apps by giving me such a variety of ways to obtain apps, and the best part is getting to pay for the same apps with different names and the same apps on different devices. What better way to encourage people to embrace your software ecosystem? By spending more time downloading apps, updating apps, identifying apps that work and apps that don't work, exploring the myriad app support files, and updating my updaters, I've devoted myself fully to the Akai / AIR way of app-ing. I forgot what these apps are even for at this point, but who doesn't feel the need to purchase another emulation of a Wurlitzer or B3 to replace the 23 other free and paid options I already have? Innovative. And by giving me the choice of 5 or 6 versions just from AIR? Priceless. Except for the ones I get free but have to pay for the other flavor. But don't get me started on the flavor of Flavor, otherwise we will have nothing to talk about on our next date.
You had me at "username"...
Akai or Die
Thank you for your lovely care and attention to file structure and directory organization. I was wondering, are you friends with the other kids over at Roland Cloud or do they go to a different school?
It's such a clever approach to spread out your files like a community yard sale all over my system drive. Quite efficient because you don't waste precious development time in consolidating or organizing stuff and instead devote your energy to redeveloping the same code into yet another version of the same thing with a new name and higher prices so it looks like a deal when it goes on sale at 80% off and the price it should have been all along. So clever.
Makes sense that your marketing department moonlights as the software development team as it keeps the payroll costs down. Plus you get to work from home, building your software installer packages while doing your Fortnite stream on Twatch.
I have a super idea for a product that seems to be missing from your catalog. How about a MIDI Chord Pack, but not just any MIDI Chord Pack? It's the most amazing MIDI Chord Pack ever, with every chord of every scale and mode for an 88-key keyboard, with a very special twist: The installer should place each MIDI Chord file in it's own directory, in a different and unique place spread out across your system drive, but make all the folders the same name so that people can randomly discover new chords along the way. It can be like a treasure hunt for the ultimate chord progression.
It takes an unbelievable level of coding skill to absolutely
a file system to such a level of disarray.A special thanks to whoever handles the impressive AIR Music Technology folder among the Applications. Mixing standalone apps with preset folders and user guide pdfs, databases and the occasional binary...wow, I can't believe you managed a degree in Art History at such a young age. It's like Warhol and Dali had a baby, and that baby was raised by Picasso for 2 years then turned loose on the streets as a toddler.
Surely the developer that handles the 3 different "synths" folders in my System and User Libraries is about to be poached by Apple. So clever to diversify and duplicate more preset folders in multiple locations in case one of them is lost. And the subtle differences between those preset lists is also nice. It's like you've instantly DOUBLED the amount of presets, and who doesn't like more presets?
Kudos to the HR team for pushing to bring underprivileged youth to the workforce. Even the illiterate deserve jobs and it's so incredible that you've put them in charge of maintaining the Support site. Maybe it's not the answers we seek that are important, but rather the questions we've asked along the way?
You've managed to put the Roland Cloud coders in their place. Maybe someday I'll get to meet the genius who had the idea to hide your user accounts and software downloads behind multiple levels of website logins and bouncing around between Akai and AIR and inMusic and Onfastspring and OMFG you've really made it easy.
The truly unbelievable achievement was creating a login system that lets me login but not login. I mean, seriously, that is a stroke of brilliance. I login, but then you send me an email with a secret link to a different site to login again? Better yet, you've made the whole process like a clever game of hide-and-seek to find the most recent versions of software, and then putting them in different places like a treasure hunt. It's exciting and innovative.
Don't get me started on your software portal, the inMusic Software Center, which apparently uses a Mod Matrix that must use some kind of Schrödinger's Cat algorithm to determine what software and what updates may or may not exist at the moment, and then install an update of something in a brand new location so that I have a backup of my backup. Dawg, I love apps, so I'm psyched to get another app for my apps so that I can download more apps!
You just get me. It's obvious you understand my need for apps by giving me such a variety of ways to obtain apps, and the best part is getting to pay for the same apps with different names and the same apps on different devices. What better way to encourage people to embrace your software ecosystem? By spending more time downloading apps, updating apps, identifying apps that work and apps that don't work, exploring the myriad app support files, and updating my updaters, I've devoted myself fully to the Akai / AIR way of app-ing. I forgot what these apps are even for at this point, but who doesn't feel the need to purchase another emulation of a Wurlitzer or B3 to replace the 23 other free and paid options I already have? Innovative. And by giving me the choice of 5 or 6 versions just from AIR? Priceless. Except for the ones I get free but have to pay for the other flavor. But don't get me started on the flavor of Flavor, otherwise we will have nothing to talk about on our next date.
You had me at "username"...
Akai or Die
